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WORST BUTT IN THE BUSINESS

WORST BUTT IN THE BUSINESS

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Anonymous said: Have you ever thought about keeping live snakes in your hair to help enforce the personal space bubble?

truthfully i never think about anything other than that

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viewtifulash:

swolizard:

My favorite Snoop Dogg looks compilation

lol at the easter bunny

Todd is the best though

(via lovecraftianlove)

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reblog this if you want a terrible 3 sentence fanfiction in your ask based on your url

gonna do all wish me luck

(Source: versaceloui, via actualmenacebuckybarnes)

Tags: meme YES
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billiondollarbaby:

I can’t wait for winter because that’s when all mosquitoes die and go to hell where they belong

(Source: billiondollarbaby, via jaytothesun)

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stoney321:

I AM IN A VERY GOOD MOOD TODAY. Got a facial, feel all sparkly and fresh scrubbed, and I should probably learn how to wear foundation/powder, but SCREW THAT I CHOOSE TO SAY I LOOK DEWY.

stoney321:

I AM IN A VERY GOOD MOOD TODAY. Got a facial, feel all sparkly and fresh scrubbed, and I should probably learn how to wear foundation/powder, but SCREW THAT I CHOOSE TO SAY I LOOK DEWY.

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lmpossibleprincess:

beautyisintheeyeofthebehodor:

xxsuicidalskysxx:

beautyisintheeyeofthebehodor:

I just explained to my family that Americans (apparently) make tea in the microwave or boil water on the hob because they don’t have kettles and everyone gasped and were outraged and my mum had to sit down

… I’m in America and I use a kettle. AND I use a French press for my coffee :3

I LOVE YOU YOU HAVE RESTORED MY FAITH IN HUMANITY

this is the most embarrassing post ive ever seen

(via dadsdikkelsen)

Tags: Tea People ew
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thelovelyseas:

Saltwater Crocodile or Estuarine Crocodile (Crocodylus porosus) surfacing to breath, Oro Bay, Papua New Guinea by Mike Parry

thelovelyseas:

Saltwater Crocodile or Estuarine Crocodile (Crocodylus porosus) surfacing to breath, Oro Bay, Papua New Guinea by Mike Parry

(via alimentarys)

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ayyoo-river:

gf: hey come over ;)

me: i cant im in bonnie tyler’s music video for total eclipse of the heart

gf: my parents aren’t home

me:

 image

(via bonerdoctor)

Tags: HAHA
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villainlooks:

the fact that I can’t grow horns is really cramping my style

(via keligula)

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killerville:

yay part deux

i like dyeing my hair because i always feel like a spy for a week after.

it’s like: i’m dying my hair in the sink of an airport bathroom. mi6 is on their way. a sniffling janitor is partially nude and handcuffed to the toilet next to me.

Престани да се жалиш, i hiss at her. можете добити нове панталоне.

back at hq, dame judi dench is holding a dossier on me. it’s three fingers thick, OPERATION: GATORBAIT written in bold beneath the TOP SECRET stamp.

who the hell took all these pictures? they’re awful. dame judi dench snaps, flipping through the black and white creeper shots of me doing stuff.

we were unable to get a shot that wasn’t of her facefirst in a bowl of soup, or harassing dogs. some british guy answers. even when she was supposed to be on assignment. one minute she’s blowing raspberries in a sharpei’s neck fat. the next minute, we find the richest man in britain strung up on a hotel balcony in nothing but a cock sock and also a regular foot sock.

she’s good. dame judi dench says.

not better than me. james bond mutters as he runs through the airport.

i whistle casually as i walk past him, pushing a garbage can full of terrified, partially nude janitor. we get out to my waiting maserati, and i give her back her uniform and also one million dollars in traveler’s checks and roll her down a hill to give myself time to escape.

i tear off down the autobahn, thinking of all the dogs i will pet in germany. my new black hair flows in the wind.

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sashayed:

why
Tags: anal oh my god
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enchantedshovel:

*punches through the monitor* [hacker voice] im in

(via allahhoyo)

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honeysunk:

it’s friday, it’s the lip-off, it’s stila gemma over nyx transylvania

honeysunk:

it’s friday, it’s the lip-off, it’s stila gemma over nyx transylvania

(via halfhardtorock)

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comicsandraps:

Ms. Marvel #5 Cover By Adrian Alphona 

comicsandraps:

Ms. Marvel #5 Cover By Adrian Alphona 

(via flintyboots)